The Conversation - The Myth of the Mental Health System

The conversation surrounding mental illness is a mess plagued with hypocrisy, ignorance & inconsistency. Due to the nature of mental illness, this will likely never change. All of this is a perfect reflection of the perceptions of the mentally ill, which include;

the perception that mentally ill people are weak,
the perception that mentally ill people can’t do anything for themselves,
the perception that mentally ill people need “professional” care to improve,
the perception that mentally ill people are lost causes,
the perception that mentally ill people are ticking time bombs,
the perception that mentally ill people are inherently dangerous,
the perception that mentally ill people are inherently crazy,
the perception that mentally ill people are inherently stupid,
the perception that mentally ill people are inherently dramatic,
the perception that mentally ill people all think the same way,
the perception that mentally ill people all act the same way, and
the perception that if a mentally ill person doesn’t fit any of these criteria then they must not be mentally ill in the first place.

The perceptions and conversation both heavily dictate the reality of each other, which creates a very nasty cycle. Together they’ve created the current reality where the autonomy and humanity of mentally ill people are significantly less respected than “normal” people—assuming it hasn’t already been discarded. When the people whose voices should matter the most in a conversation are valued the least, the validity of it is automatically discredited. It’s extremely frustrating to speak but have a voice nobody hears and most mentally ill people experience this regularly. Any concerns they have are automatically dismissed and any ideas are disregarded. They’re not allowed to think for themselves. Often times they’re deemed too stupid to do so. All of this directly affects the frequency of their expression. Why bother speaking up about anything if no one’s going to take it seriously anyway?

Together, the perceptions and conversation also create a stigma, and obviously stigmas can greatly impact your social life. You’re already predisposed to being greatly unwanted, so why make it worse by being honest about how you really feel when you’ll likely be demonized whenever you’re not being dismissed? Why be honest and risk destroying your chance at any emotional support, especially when you’re already in desperate need of it? Why be honest and risk being seen as unlovable? Why be honest about things that are so taboo you risk becoming a pariah? Why be honest when the listener probably won’t understand you anyway? Why be honest when even the most basic of your concerns have never been respected? Why be honest and make life much harder for yourself than it already is? Why be honest and risk ruining any chance at the normal life you always wanted? All of this directly affects the honesty of their expression.

It’s why many of them choose to submit & subscribe to the status quo and remain fearful of disrupting it. It’s why many of them subconsciously feel like they need permission to voice their thoughts, and usually only say what they feel they’re allowed to. It’s why for some of them, in an effort to be “one of the good ones”, they will automatically reject anything that isn’t the status quo when it comes to illness, out of fear. This is usually paired with an active reinforcing of said status quo, which often times steps over what another mentally ill person is trying to express. In these cases, it’s sometimes also from a place of wanting to feel mature for doing what they’re “supposed” to.

With all these factors at play; if the mental health system wasn’t doing what it’s supposed to, would you really know about it? If there was anything harming the mentally ill, would you really know about it?

The conversation surrounding mental illness is too scattered to make progress and it’s always been this way. There has been very little to suggest we’ve been going in the right direction to begin with. The scattered nature is largely attributed to the fact that mental illness itself is highly controversial. Due to the nature of it, this will likely never change. It’s too raw, real, offensive, and most importantly, polarizing. Mental illness is so honest that it naturally extracts honesty out of other people. This can cause them to prioritize how they immediately feel over anything else, which also leads to them being significantly more likely to maintain their stance. That is how you immediately end up with a scattered conversation—one that will always be very slow to progress, and remains relatively stagnant. It can’t move any faster when the spectrum of discussion is this large, lacks any center, and heavily discourages any alternative thinking.

Usually when it comes to debatable issues, there’s only 2 or so sides to choose from. So no matter how polarizing the nature of the subject is, at least the conversation is still clear and focused. That still doesn’t guarantee progress, but at least there is some sort of foundation. When an issue involves mental illness (and doesn’t center around the system) there’s an endless number of varied responses and beliefs the average person might hold. When it proves to be polarizing, the conversation loses what little focus it had even further. The person can’t really shove themselves into one camp or another, they can only act on their own volition.

A great example of this is how people try to tackle forgiveness in relation to mental illness. Collectively we’ve acknowledged that certain illnesses, issues & circumstances can cause people to do and say terrible regretful things, but at the same time we don’t want abhorrent or “problematic” behavior to get away with a slap on the wrist. This creates a conflict. How much can this person truly be blamed for a decision they chose to make? How much of a pass do they get for circumstances and conditions out of their control? How much grace can they be given for behavior that otherwise would never be excusable? At what point does empathy turn into enabling? Finding a proper balance takes a lot of thought, sometimes an exhausting amount. Most people would rather not, or simply don’t even consider it, all of which is why instead of handling things on a case by case, they’ll often default to a blanket of accountability they can toss over any situation.

It’s not hard to imagine how much of a mess this makes when someone is being scrutinized publicly for their actions; where the larger conversation is questioning how bad did they mess up and how much do they deserve that second, third, or fourth chance.

Within that conversation you’ll see many people quick to claim that illness or adjacent circumstances are no excuse for bad behavior no matter what the situation is. While most of those people feel that the role illness plays is irrelevant to what they deserve, there are some who feel that illness didn’t play a role at all—thus the presence of it not being an excuse. Their reasoning is usually rooted in the idea that if someone allegedly did something because of illness, then that must imply that everyone with said illness exhibits that same behavior.

This is how you also end up with the classic “I know someone with this disorder and they don’t do that so I know what REAL illness looks like”. They don’t realize that mental illness affects everyone differently and intersects with who you are as a person and the experiences you’ve had throughout your life, and the ways in which those experiences impacted you. They can’t understand that in this scenario, no one is saying that whatever the person did was a universal symptom of said illness, but that the illness put them in a position to where that could end up happening.

To frame it better, imagine being in a room full of tunnels. Each tunnel is a decision you could commit to. For every decision you’d naturally never make, that tunnel is sealed up. That wall is your consistent desire to say no when presented the option. Your brain is structured in a way where that is an action you would never allow yourself to commit. What mental illness (or even addiction) can do, is erase any number of those walls, allowing you to end up doing something you may not have otherwise. It doesn’t mean you will walk through those tunnels, it just means that now it’s possible.

For those that are more empathetic, their conflict is more intense than the average person. They want to hold the individual accountable for moral reasons, but they don’t like the idea of not forgiving someone for exhibiting symptoms of an illness. They don’t want to punish someone for being mentally ill. However as a result, some of those people tend to deny that illness could’ve played any role, so they can maintain this idea that they’ve never “discriminated” against someone for being mentally ill. Those people have an incredibly hard time accepting the idea that it is okay to not forgive someone for doing something that happened while exhibiting symptoms of an illness. You have that right. You don’t have to forgive or excuse anybody for anything to begin with. You can also still extend empathy towards someone’s situation while still not excusing the thing they did.

For those that are both empathetic and obedient; their issue is a bit different. They want to display empathy towards the mentally afflicted but keep trying to do so in the confines of what’s socially acceptable. This is inherently flawed as it’s never going to work. Mental illness is too raw to ever fit into the confines of what’s socially acceptable, especially as the rules get progressively tighter.

In the same vein there’s also what the conversation looks like when trying to reduce stigma. Those that are adamant about it are usually afflicted themselves, and even though they mean well, they still get it wrong. Instead of trying to get people to approach and interact with the subject less ignorantly, they try to make people think the subject is free from issues by simply painting it as fully unproblematic. They’re always quick to say something isn’t a symptom of illness, based on nothing other than the fact that it would be a bad look if this illness did lead that person to commit said behavior. They don’t want it associated with that kind of action, but this method is extremely lazy.

Instead of trying to make mental illness as digestible as possible for the general public, why not focus on prioritizing other mentally ill individuals by allowing for honest and non judgmental discussion? You would improve the current reality for people just like you by doing that much more than you would trying to appease a group of people who are under no obligation to accept you. Stigma may not be reduced but at least people like you don’t have to be as affected by said stigma.

If you treated the mentally ill as individuals first and their symptoms second, that would inherently help reduce stigma anyway. People could slowly adopt a way of thinking that acknowledges that mental illness is not monolithic, and that they’re all their own people with their own set of thoughts and behaviors. All you accomplish with the lazy method is reinforcing the opposite. Especially when you think that just because you of all people didn’t experience something then that must mean it has no association with your disorder. If non mentally ill people viewed mental disorders as an extension of one’s mind and not their entire being, it would undoubtedly help in humanizing them and seeing them as real people.

The worst offense of the lazy method is that it paints the illness out to be something that it isn’t. And then theoretically when any person with that illness ends up exhibiting unpleasant symptoms, everyone else is going to look at them much much worse. You help set a standard those people can’t even live up to, based on a reality that isn’t even true.

The reality is, mental illness can get scary, intense, violent, draining, anything, because there is no universal limit. When you try to paint it as something else because you want to adhere to societal standards, you just amplify the ignorance. Instead of trying to convince everyone mental illness doesn’t get ugly, why don’t you remind everyone else how ugly “regular” people can be?

We have gotten some of the most cherished and impactful contributions to humanity & culture because of & despite mental disorders. We have also gotten what it is deemed the most disgusting & abhorrent. Mental illness is a spectrum. Its effects on others can be as touching as they can be repulsive. It could never truly be sanitized, and because of the world we’ve lived in for centuries, that’s just not going to be okay with everybody. There will never be universal acceptance or mass understanding towards intense mental issues. That is the reality, and it’s much better to admit it than to pretend it’s anything else.

The mentally ill are human beings. Individual, unique human beings. And yes, mental illness is inherently not a good thing. It never is for the one living with it. But in terms of its external effects on the world, it’s not inherently a bad thing either. Meaning, the existence of mentally ill people is not inherently a bad thing for everyone else. Mentally ill people are not inherently, anything. Because no human being is inherently anything. Each one is their own person. Even though mentally ill people can likely relate to a lot of unique things due to sharing the same struggles, they are not all living the same life. And when you say things to reduce illness to its most digestible acceptable form, you are only promoting the opposite.

The only way the public perception of a mental illness would quickly see improvement is if a beloved celebrity came out and revealed they’ve been living with one. Thanks to celebrity worship culture, as well as typical admiration, if Adele or Eminem came out tomorrow stating they had bipolar disorder, attitudes towards it would shift. Obviously their individual reach could only go so far, but if multiple adored celebrities spoke out about living with a stigmatized disorder it would inevitably bring the fastest change to how it’s perceived.

Whether that shift in perception is rooted in something genuine is debatable, but that’s not the point. People would still be placed in a position where they now know someone they feel a connection, respect and admiration towards is living with something they may not have viewed favorably before. They’d more likely than not shift their views of said thing to accommodate that person. Stigma from the mouths & portrayals of others can struggle to compare to intimate first hand experience, even if it’s only through that persons’ artistry. Realizing that this information doesn’t change what they feel towards that person, it can open them up to at the very least not casually disrespecting and stigmatizing other members of said illness.

All of this ties back to the system, because the conversation in tandem with the perception of the mentally ill is a key component in why public attitudes toward the system are the way they are. It’s very simple. A comment made about either one will affect the perception of the other—at least amongst those that don’t care to form independent conclusions about either (which is the majority of people). What allows this to be true is that most people have never interacted with the system at all and never needed to, especially to any meaningful extent.

It’s extremely easy to fall for the magic the system advertises itself to having when you know nothing about it, or don’t know anyone that has actually experienced it. It’s also important to remember that the majority of people don’t care about anything related to mental illness or its system beyond a surface level, so even if they were presented with something that adds depth, it likely won’t be taken seriously. No one really cares to do anything with it.

If mental illness is seen a very traditional and one dimensional way, so will the perceived benefits of the system. If the mentally ill are seen as weak, dangerous, crazy, and stupid, then the system that advertises itself as being the only thing capable of taming them is going to be seen in a much better and more credible light; even if it’s based on nothing substantial. Every time a negative or stigmatizing comment is made on the mentally ill, it only aids in feeding public perception of a system most people have never even interacted with. Combine that with the fact that it’s always easier to tell someone to get help or that they need it instead of actually addressing the issue, and now you have a system being praised by people it wasn’t even made for. With everything discussed in mind; if the mental health system wasn’t doing what it’s supposed to, do you think the conversation would acknowledge that?

If you want proof of this chapter then you can direct your attention to Kanye West. He’s an example that’s only gotten better with time as the nature of his conversation only continues to get worse. It can be broken up in a few ways. There’s the belief that his mother dying tanked his psyche permanently, the belief that if someone near him simply told him “no” his behavior would stop, the belief that he simply needs to take his meds, and the belief that he needs to take his meds, there’s the belief that his Nazi ramblings were purely a result of unchecked illness, the belief that he truly is a Neo-Nazi, the belief that he simply just articulates his thoughts poorly, the belief that he’s misunderstood, the belief that he’s a genius, the belief that he needs help, the belief that his behavior is disgusting and no amount of illness will make it forgivable, the belief that the man is bipolar and we all need to retain some empathy, the belief that his behavior can be more attributed to him being male than anything else, the belief that anyone would go “crazy” if they lived his life, and of course there’s the classic belief that Kanye West is just fucking insane.

More than just the beliefs are also the attitudes. The conversation around him consists of disappointed fans, fans that will always defend his honor, aspiring whatevers looking for a come up by getting on his good side, people that view him as a beacon of inspiration, people who are only participating because he’s mentally ill, people who are only participating because he’s relevant in hip hop, people who are only participating because he’s an A list celebrity, people who only hear about his behavior from mainstream headlines, people who only hear about his behavior from social media outrage, people who actually witness his behavior first hand in real time, people that don’t want him to be representative of all bipolars, people who are so sick of hearing about him discussed ad nauseam that they view me negatively for even bringing him up, critics who have let him get under their skin just for breathing since the VMAs, people who truly think he’s dangerous and scared of what he may do next, women who think he’s the embodiment of everything wrong with the male species, laidback fans who understand that they don’t understand so they always give him the benefit of the doubt, underage kids who don’t really understand the gravity of Kanye West, and haters that have never liked anything he has ever represented for both individuals and the culture. And while all that is going on, many people tend to fit several of these descriptions by themselves.

Everything gets even messier once you look closer. When Kanye West was publicly outraged towards Kim Kardashian in early 2022, what was that?^{[1][2][3][4][5][6][7]} A bipolar man with unchecked illness having another episode? A father rightfully frustrated his ex-wife keeps tampering with his ability to see his kids? A man rightfully upset that his ex-wife keeps lying to him? A man left with no other options? An act of pure misogyny? A man harassing his ex-wife? A man preventing her from moving on, willing to go as far as to kill her new boyfriend? A manchild that can’t let go? A father rightfully concerned about the potential exploitation of his eldest daughter? A victim of the family court system speaking out about injustice? A black man being thrown under the bus by higher ranking white people? A black man that should’ve known better than to marry a white woman? An abusive man that shouldn’t be surprised his ex-wife and mother of his children is fearful of him? Nothing more than typical baby mama drama? A prima donna that can’t stand to not be the center of attention for just 5 minutes? A billionaire rapper complaining about a billionaire supermodel as if anyone with a 9-5 is supposed to care? If I rounded up all of you reading to reach a collective consensus, do you seriously think one would be reached?

I’m aware his conversation is largely reflective of celebrity culture and not just attitudes towards mental illness. It can feel a bit misguided to speak on Kanye West as if the average mentally ill person is experiencing the exact same thing. They both come with their own set of issues that exist independently of each other, however, when they intersect they create an interesting hybrid where you can see a heightened display of those issues.

For example, the way people speak on him in relation to medication. The bottom line is, no mentally ill person owes you medication. You have no understanding of how it affects them, and even if it didn’t affect them negatively, they still retain the right to not want to take mind and (potentially) body altering drugs. There’s a few situations where it’s acceptable to think this way, like if you have a personal connection to them by being a partner, co-parent, friend, their coworker or employer, etc., and that person only acts recklessly and becomes a danger to you when they’re not on their medication—then it’s completely understandable. In contexts like these, that mindset has very little to do with your view of the mentally ill, and much more to do with your livelihood or safety with an individual being at risk. In these instances, taking medication is the requirement to keep whatever personal connection you two have consensually active. That would be you judging off the merit of the situation, rather than any preconceived notions about the mentally ill.

But outside of that, this kind of rhetoric serves to do nothing more than dish out shame over something that doesn’t affect you anywhere near as much as it affects them. It’s not based in anything meaningful, it’s based in the perception that mentally ill people should only even be tolerated as human beings if they’re taking medication that makes them docile. Mentally ill people as a whole are not obligated to do anything for you. If that means you’d personally rather not be involved with them or engage with them, that’s fine. You retain that right. But no other implication is acceptable. Not even when speaking on Kanye West. It’s the principle of it. Mentally ill people deserve their autonomy. You don’t see how weird it is that you feel someone should basically be pressured and forced to take something against their will? Solely based off them possessing something they never asked for?

There’s one area where celebrity culture and mental illness do share a commonality, and it’s that people are significantly more likely to feel comfortable treating you and speaking on you in a way they wouldn’t anyone else. That man has gone through mainstream hell since the late 2000s, with publications, news stations, and the general public making the nastiest comments on him as if he’s not a human being on the receiving end of it. As if the majority of the people who are so comfortable making those comments could handle being on the receiving end themselves. He’s been seen as crazy long before any alleged diagnosis—the worst label you could possibly have slapped on you that isn’t attached to criminal behavior. Of course looking back, it’s even sillier seeing the things he was labeled crazy for over a decade ago. It highlights how it doesn’t take much for people to see you in such a dehumanizing light.

When it comes to illness the parallels are obvious. The people aware of your condition or behavior are likely to be much more comfortable disrespecting your humanity and right to make your own decisions. People (including family members) can turn any disagreement on you as a reflection of your illness, or even weaponize it as a means of pressuring you into submission. Friends of friends, people within your community, or even friends themselves can talk behind your back feeling comfortable making the nastiest and slickest comments they’ve ever uttered. Whispering lies and rumors in people’s ears about you in relation to your condition, for no actual reason.

Admittedly, they don’t even have to say much. Simply telling a stranger that someone else has a specific disorder is enough to damage that person’s social life. It all easily spirals into the nastiest game of telephone—one that strangers have no issue participating in. And often times, none of this casual cruelty is exhibited elsewhere in those people’s lives. They’re only doing it because they feel comfortable enough to do so. It’s too easy. If you mistreat a crazy person, who actually gives a fuck? And you don’t want to risk being done to you what’s being done to them by treating them as equal, so why not join what everyone else is doing? In the case of a mentally ill celebrity, both sets of issues intersect to create an intensified version of what both parties are already subject to.

Whatever your feelings are towards Kanye West, they should’ve been left at the door when I mentioned him. You shouldn’t make exceptions for him just because of the positive impact his music has had on you, and he shouldn’t be the exception because of the negative impact his behavior has had on your emotions. If your feelings towards him distort your understanding of what I’m saying—whether good or bad—if it prevents you from processing this the way I intend for you to, then that is exactly what this entire chapter has been about. And it matters, because Kanye West is not a special case in this regard. There are countless instances where someone who is perceived as mentally ill or unstable is so provocative that the conversation takes an immediate nosedive as a result. If consistent conversations can’t even be had over a single man how could they be had over an entire group of people?

The next chapter:

Physician, M.D.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian Online Feud Explained by Molli Mitchell – February 15, 2022
Kanye West: What’s going on with Kim Kardashian, Julia Fox and his career by Lisa Respers France – February 15, 2022
Kanye West’s Harassment of Kim Kardashian Is Not a Joke by Hanna Phifer – February 17, 2022
Whatever’s happening with Kanye and Kim, his behavior shouldn’t be normalized by Arwa Mahdawi – February 19, 2022
Kanye Just Threatened to Put Kim & Pete’s Security at ‘Risk’ For Coming ‘Between’ Him & His Kids by Jenzia Burgos – February 23, 2022
Kanye West’s Toxic Behavior Toward Kim Kardashian Is Going Unchecked by Jenn M. Jackson – March 8, 2022
Kim Kardashian Asks Kanye West to ‘Stop Narrative’ He’s Not Seeing Kids: ‘You Were Just Here’ by Georgia Slater, Lanae Brody, Melody Chiu – March 14, 2022