The Myth of the Mental Health System
w r I t t e N b Y b L e S s I n g S s t r A N d e d
Fuck You.
It’s extremely rare that I ever have a true hatred towards someone, the kind that’s embedded in my soul, and even when I have I have never felt the need to do something despite the desire most definitely being there. They are truly pathetic enough that I don’t have the urge to go out of my way and do something to them because I’ll never have to. I already know they will be the cause of their own downfall. I just have to wait.
You are one of the five souls on that list Mark, and you’re the first person ever to make me feel the need to actually do something about it. I had the idea to create Myth less than 30 minutes after our session ended. I never meet you, Myth never happens. It’s that simple. You fucked up Mark. I’ve had to wait over 2 years to finally tell you. You can’t even begin to comprehend how much satisfaction this brings me. And I don’t have to harass you, touch you or reveal your identity to have what I want cause if Myth does what it’s supposed to then this’ll reach you anyway.
The difference between you and the rest of the list is that your downfall can’t happen on your own because your field not only protects you, it rewards you. So theoretically, I have to change the landscape of your entire field by force.
Do your patients know how you speak about them when they’re not around, Mark? Do your patients know the way you really see them as they sit in your ward, Mark? Under the false belief that you’re really there to help them in their time of need, Mark? Do they know you don’t even see them as equals, Mark? Less than human? Or maybe they already do; I can only imagine how they’re treated by your staff.
Do you know the way you speak about the mentally ill spits on the legacies of men like Nash? Mark do you know I still haven’t decided what enrages me more between the implication that not turning into a rapist invalidates my claims and the implication that the consent of my loved ones doesn’t matter in general? Cause two years later Mark that still puts my head for a fucking spin. I already had so much hate & resentment in my heart that I never wanted and you felt the need to make it so much worse. Why would you do that Mark?
Mark can you imagine having the year I had then spending $650 to be told there’s nothing wrong with you?
Can you imagine waking up in fear every morning that your brain is going to punish you in ways you cannot imagine all because you decided you didn’t want to go out like that, just to be told there’s nothing wrong with you?
Can you imagine losing so much control over your own mind that you sincerely think you were possessed when you finally get it back, just to be told there’s nothing wrong with you?
Can you imagine being unable to sleep well for months, with sleep being the only time you were ever able to feel some peace, just to be told there’s nothing wrong with you?
Can you imagine spending an entire semester feeling emotions so intense you can barely move only to be told years later there was never anything wrong with you?
Can you imagine telling someone all that to their face and their immediate thoughts are fantasies so violent they’d inspire Tarantino?
Can you imagine having to forever live with the reality of knowing you were only one day away from pursuing drugs, doing them, then unintentionally murdering someone off them cause you had no concept of how fucked your mind already was, and then killing yourself afterwards? Can you imagine having to live with knowing that is what the child you once were was always supposed to become? That your time on this earth was always supposed to end that way?
Can you imagine spending your entire life wishing someone would just do their fucking job so you can finally have a moment to breathe, just for it to be demonstrated for the 18th year in a row that that’s never going to happen?
I hope I can make this system regret ever handing you a license Mark. Even if just a little. Your greatest and only worthwhile contribution in life is fucking me over so that Myth would exist.
I will never forget your face Mark. I will never forget the smug look you had on it either.
Never.
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